errantimpulses ([info]errantimpulses) wrote,
@ 2007-11-04 04:00:00
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Current mood: blah

So this is my 4am random rant on women in movies and comics...I'm not responsible for spelling after 4am....

Long post! Contains vague spoilers for various movies, books, and comics. X-men? Harry Potter? Batman? Maybe more. Nothing too recent though....Spoilers if you've been under a rock....



I actually found out about this a while ago, and never actually posted it. But, to sum it up, due to a couple of flops of movies that had female leads, someone at WB said they will not be making movies with female leads anymore. Despite the fact that they don't bother marketing the movies with female leads as much as they do those with male leads, or that they have plenty of bad movies with females leads, they have decided that this is due to the female leads.

Now, let's get this straight, this statement disgusts me.

But...I'm beginning to realize, they're not making a bad decision when they do this, they're just making a bad decision to state it.

The realization came to me this weekend, when I was watching "Moonlight", and someone was complaining about how horrible the villain was. Like, "what a bitch!" complaining. The villain was, of course, a female. And as this person was bad-mouthing the villain, the only thought running through my head was, "would this person feel the same way if the villain was a guy? Or would she think it was a pretty cool villain?" Now, whether they would or not, I don't know, I'm not them. Perhaps it was my own bias that I thought the villain was pretty cool, and it's just a minor disagreement in our minds as to what constitutes "cool". But it reminded me of another time when a friend said to me, "So I was watching 'Survivor, and I realized that I really didn't like this woman, that she's too sneaky. But then I thought that if she was a guy, I would really like the tactics he was using. Does that make me sexist?" When I answered, as delicately as I could to someone who is a declared feminist, "well, yes. It does." He got upset, and stopped speaking to me for months.

This also brings to mind a story different friend told me, of her discussion of "Pirates of the Caribbean 3" with one of her male friends. He said that he didn't like Elizabeth in this movie, as she was too sneaky, underhanded, and backstabbing. However, he didn't have a problem with Will's sneakiness (which was ten times worse than Elizabeth's, what with him needlessly killing people to leave a trail), or Jack Sparrow's (Captain!).

So WB's decision to not make movies with female leads will likely cause some outrage initially, what with their open sexism, however, it will soon fade as we are not trained to like female leads, anyway!

Despite many people's willingness to give lip service to the idea that women and men should be held to the same standards for most things (physical differences such as ability to give birth, or pee standing up the major exceptions...though...we do have the P-mate now....), there is still an unconscious training that women are to be docile, and sneakiness is underhanded, wrong, and bitchy, while in a male, the same qualities frowned upon in female characters are the ones that the males are most prized for. Men are the ones to be calling the shots and pulling the strings, either by brute force, or by clever backstage maneuverings. Women are the ones who are supposed to be pulled. When a women takes on a "male's" role, she's immediately cast into an unfavorable light, and the power is either taken from her (possibly in death), or she willingly gives it up, usually with tearful apologies. I watched X-Men 3 this week, looking forward to finally seeing the Phoenix, in all her glory. Destroying planets and reveling in it, being assertive and a force to be reckoned with. ...What I got instead was Jean Grey as a mentally unstable woman, whining when people wanted to control her, yet never raising a hand against the controlling powers, except in a psychotic fit which she tearfully regretted each time. Had it truly been the phoenix, the ending would have been with her in Magneto's place, leading the charge. But that was not the case. She stood passively by his side, waiting for orders, and then going insane. Because that is the only way film writers and viewers can handle a woman - she needs to be controlled, she needs to have a conscience, she needs to be sexy, she needs to be in love - such as Mystique's obvious dedication to Magneto - again, her betrayal of him is seen as the actions of a woman scorned, not for one second do they consider that she knows she is now at risk from his actions as well.

However, let's not think that this role for females is different in the comics. If a strong female character appears, she needs to be brought down, as quickly as possible. The Phoenix in the comics is a much more powerful character than in the movie, but just like in the movie needs to be destroyed and depowered. Her ending is the same - death, but through suicide, as she knows what she's done is wrong, and knows it can't happen again, as opposed to the movie, where she needs to beg Wolverine to kill her (being too weak to do the job herself? How like a woman!). Mystique and Storm's squabbles over Forge (who, let's face is, is no Gambit) were tiresome and demeaning to both characters.

And let's not forget all the "Mary-Sue" characters out there (I doubt anyone is unclear what this means, but just in case, a Mary-Sue is when a girl writes a story, and inserts a character that is obviously supposed to be her). If ever a strong female character shows up, or one who is not just a wilting flower there to be kidnapped, she is immediately labeled as a "Mary-Sue", regardless of whether her creator was a woman or not. Hell, even Starfire was labeled a Mary-Sue, and she's basically just an alien Playboy bunny! But she had a lot of power, and thus, is not a "real" character, she is simply there to appease female fans - a Mary-Sue. Stephanie Brown (aka Spoiler, Robin IV) is also labeled as a "Mary-Sue." And for what reason? Because she dates Tim? That can't be it, as Ariana, Tim's former girlfriend, wasn't labeled a Mary-Sue. Ah, we can clearly see it's because she considers herself on equal footing with the Boy-Wonder, and maybe even his boss, Batman. A woman couldn't really be that uppity, and therefore, she is a Mary-Sue. And, as stated above, a woman who gets like this must be stopped. Stephanie Brown was tortured and killed. However, unlike Jason Todd, Stephanie does not get a memorial in the Batcave, because, according to Batman, her death was her own fault. Nevermind that she never handled anything as brashly as Jason Todd, who was allowed a memorial. Indeed, Batman's hiring of Stephanie as Robin was obviously a ploy to get his boy back. She is rarely mentioned again, even by her boyfriend, Tim, who repeatedly mourns the death of his father, and best friend, however neglects to mention his girlfriend. After all, it's not like it was a real character who died.

The outcrying of "Mary-Sue!" whenever a strong female arrives is, unfortunately, made by females as well. Never, "here's a strong female character who keeps her clothes on! Hooray!" No, it's a Mary-Sue, simply inserted because the girls should want to be like her.

And what's wrong with that? Why does no one ever raise their voice in outcry over the "Gary-Stues" out there (the largest Gary-Stu being Batman, of course), who are solely put there to be a boy's fantasy self? Because that's what comics are all about! It's about making fantastic characters that you wish you were! But we need to make sure that it's only boys who have these characters, and we keep girls in the girls' roles. Otherwise, they're something to be looked down on. They're simply Mary-Sues.

If they choose to not make anymore movies with female leads, WB won't suffer. And the reason is that the majority of the public doesn't actually want to see strong female characters, and people don't actually want to write them. What people don't realize is that women don't just want to watch women - they want to watch strong women doing heroic things. Catwoman failed at the box office? You mean more people didn't go to see a movie with Halle Berry in tight black leather fighting against a make-up company (I'm serious, ya'll. I saw it, that's what it was about)? Women don't want to see that, because it's just about a leather fetish and a plot which degrades women through the use of stereotypes. Men aren't going to want to see it, because it's about a female lead, with the usual boring plot. Who wants to see that? A slim number of women who want to support female films, no matter the crap value, a slim number of men who want to see Halle Berry in tight leather, no matter the crap value, and a slim number of people who have free passes, and want to measure the crap value.

Filmmakers seem to throw crap at women and expect them to gobble it up. The same is true in comics - there's something about "Fathom" that makes me think it's supposed to be aimed at women. Creators think, "we'll throw a girl in here, to make it appealing to women," failing to realize that girl has to be a realistic character to actually appeal to women. If the girl is anatomically disfigured (how do they survive with no internal organs? Or are the organs all shove up in their bosom region? That would make a lot of sense!), surprise! Most women will not relate, and won't be able to (or want to) look past the T&A to discover the plot there (aw, who am I kidding, the plot will probably still involve her being subservient to men). Boys, however, won't relate to a female lead because....well....no offense, but they aren't female. And sure, the T&A is nice, but they can get that in any other book. This leads to low sales, which leads to people not believing that anyone wants to see women as the lead.

They fail to see that if this truly was the case, Terry Moore's "Strangers in Paradise" wouldn't be as popular as it was. Same with "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". But that's okay if they fail to see it, because people will keep seeing movies and reading comics with male leads, and bringing in sales. Because people who want female leads don't want them exclusively. However, the converse is not true (as made obvious by the WB's statement).

I crave Stephanie Browns, and Katchoos, and Hermione Grangers. I want these girls to step into the spotlight next to their male peers, without reprimand, instead of playing second fiddle. Come on. Does anyone doubt Hermione could have taken out Voldemort on her own? Does anyone think Harry could have done it without her? However, it was very smart of JKR to market it with a boy lead, as, with a female lead, she wouldn't have gotten nearly the number of sales she did. Think about it. Almost no young boy would be encouraged to read about a female Wizard, and few females would want to pick up a story about a girl who's "obviously a Mary-Sue". JKR did the right thing, financially. Because as much as we can see her worth now, people probably wouldn't have picked it up if the heroine had been a girl. Hell, forget about female heroes, I even want female villains. But I want them to be fierce and cold, and calculating, and not try to trip the male hero (or the female lead's boyfriend) into bed, or be doing it as part of some way to retain their youth and beauty.

But I want something I'm not going to get. I want something with a lady taking charge and kicking ass, and not being sorry about it or reprimanded. I want her to rescue her kidnapped boyfriend, and not be making him breakfast in the morning. I want a female lead that's as strong, capable, and hell, let's face it, selfish, as a male lead, without her being criticized for it. I don't want her referred to as a "Mary-Sue" if she's in a comic. But I want something that's currently not being provided, because it seems almost no one else wants it. Not creators, not men, not even most women. And since there is an apparent lack of demand for it, why should WB make any movies with female leads?

So I'll end with a Joss Whedon quote, after he was asked why he writes all these strong female characters.

"Why aren’t you asking a hundred other guys why they don’t write strong women characters?"




(27 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]zing_och
2007-11-04 02:52 pm UTC (link)
This is really depressing. It's also really true.

The outcrying of "Mary-Sue!" whenever a strong female arrives is, unfortunately, made by females as well.

That drives me crazy in fandom, too. Every original female character is suspected of being a Mary Sue, but the male ones aren't - at least it's not as automatic as with the women. And even in the woman-dominated corners of fandom I hang out in I've seen countless instances of women putting down strong women characters in books, in movies, in comics with "She's such a Sue."

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[info]errantimpulses
2007-11-05 11:24 pm UTC (link)
Yeah. I mean, in situations where it's really obvious, like in fanfiction, sometimes I do the eyerolling, because you already have a cast of characters, why are you adding one? I wonder if I would do that with a boy, too, but I don't know many boys who write fanfiction.

....but when it's an established canon character, I get SO annoyed at the "Sue"-calling. Sure that girl is a Mary-Sue, but all the boys are the male equivalents. Let's get on everyone's case or no one's! (I prefer no one's.)

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[info]vejiicakes
2007-11-04 09:28 pm UTC (link)
... well, I've got nothing to add to this. You've pretty well summed up every thought I could ever have about this situation, EVER. Including the thought that, while the sentiment behind the studio head's statement is disgusting, it was just STUPID of him to actually articulate it (I mean, hell, he might've just not approved movie ideas with female leads, and in all probability, no one would have called him on it, but he SAID it and that was dumb O_o)

And sort of tangential to the main thrust of the post, but I really liked Elizabeth in the first PotC, and I found her still likable and inspiring in the third PotC (whereas I'm going to pretend PotC2 just never happened) but duuuude, I stand by my stance that she'd pretty much attained outright Suestrementality by PotC3 XD Eeeeverybody wants to sex her? Pirate King? SRSLY? And yet, of course, it didn't until recently occur to me to even think of Will as a Gary-Stu, and forget Liz being Pirate King--Will is basically the PotC story's Jesus figure XD

These days, I think a lot of the criteria for Sue-ness is determined just as much by how much events or characters in a story center around her, as by how evident it is that she's a fictional extension of the writer which, being written by two men, I'm not sure if the latter still applies in her case. And I think I've only seen the former rule being brought heavily into play when the female in question isn't a main character, where events would be expected to center around the lead anyway, so there's always the possibility that if more strong women were made leads in stories and it stopped being such an anomaly to people, there'd be less calls of "SUE!!" I really do think there's something to the idea that women as strong leads are even today still kind of unexpected and counterintuitive to our culture, so instead of accepting them, we process them as oddities and call them on it. Sad, that -_-

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[info]errantimpulses
2007-11-05 11:26 pm UTC (link)
Hahah Elizabeth was, like, one of five females in the film! With hundreds of men, and only a handful of females, it makes sense everyone would want to sex her up. Those frustrated pirates! :-D But seriously, yeah. I can understand wanting to call Elizabeth a Mary-Sue, but then we also need to call the male characters on what they really are.

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[info]vejiicakes
2007-11-05 11:48 pm UTC (link)
Iiiii don't know about that, I call desirability overkill by the writers. In the same way that, say, half the Fushigi Yuugi cast wanted/tried to sex up Miaka, it seemed much less a reflection on the men doing the desiring in their usual sausage-fest environment than on the woman in question being OMG speshul.

I really do suspect that were women more commonly found in the PotC-'verse, the writers would still have had most of the male characters, ancillary or otherwise, clamoring after Liz. (Ana Maria for instance, lovely as she was, never saw any such attention, and in terms of approachability Elizabeth is just as prickly as Ana ever was. Maybe more.)

What I think worked in Liz's favor in terms of NOT being a Sue is that she at least sort of had to pay some of her faults by the last movie--not instantly being forgiven by Will, Jack kind of calls her on it, etc. Come to think of it, character flaws are a BIG determining factor in Sue/Stu-dom--and they're only flaws if they're seen as negative traits, either in-universe or by the audience. I think that's probably a good way to tell. Yay ramble.

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[info]errantimpulses
2007-11-07 01:43 am UTC (link)
Hahah I was partially teasing with that comment. But the whole "everyone wants to sex Elizabeth" vibe may have been less evident if, like, one of the crew members not wanting to sex her (like Mr. Gibbs) had a girlfriend to contrast the Liz-sexing-want.

I was SO disappointed that Ana Maria wasn't in the second movie! (and more than mildly disturbed that they killed off all their non-white crew members in the first half hour....wtf PotC???) Ana Maria is the kind of character I would want to watch more of! But instead they go with Elizabeth, who's cool and all, but much less, "fuck you!" than Ana Maria. ....but that makes Ana Maria a bitch, and therefore we shouldn't want to see her. :-/

See, her not being forgiven by Will still kind of pricks me, because she made much less a deal out of him hiding things and being mad at her for hiding things than she should have ( at least, that's what my memory tells me. I need to rewatch it). Like, (again, going on memory) he gives her her own line back, "I didn't think you could handle it" but she doesn't actually counter with, "you goddamn hypocrite!" like she should. He gets mad at her for doing something, but he does the same thing, but thinks that, "oh, so you and I are even with the lying to each other" should cover it, but doesn't realize, no, he still has yet to feel the pain of being unforgiven. But bleh, that could just be me disliking Will and Elizabeth as a couple.

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[info]vejiicakes
2007-11-07 02:36 am UTC (link)
Nuts to that, I wanted to see more of Ana Maria being all "fuck you!" T__T Actually, I can't really make sense of her not being in the second or third movies. I'm sure the idea was that she'd prefer a boat of her own, but she seemed.. so good to go on staying with the Black Pearl by the end of the first movie. And maybe a liiiittle sweet on Jack, but no woman isn't sweet on Jack, but I didn't need them to hook up or anything. (Hmm.. that could be grounds for Gary-Studom, if he weren't Johnny Depp, Sex on Legs, Fashioned By God From A Solid Block Of Sex anyway.)

Honestly, I really rather liked the way Liz and Will finally got, I think, on more or less even ground before really hooking up in the third movie. In that it was after they'd both done some pretty fucked up things, and realized that no, they weren't going to be the perfect fairy tale couple that they seemed to be in the first movie, and... still wanted to be with each other in spite of it. That and I'm a sucker for epically romantic music blaring over tender forehead nuzzlies on the beach. A SUCKER.

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[info]errantimpulses
2007-11-07 02:53 am UTC (link)
Hahah, Will was totally a Stu (haha almost wrote Sue) because every female role in the third film wanted to sex him! ...all of two of them! XD

I would have liked Jack/Ana or Jack/Tia, because both of them seemed like strong ladies, and their relationship with him would have been fun to watch! :-) but better left offscreen, I guess.

Hahah, I just wish Elizabeth would have kept her Pirate-King title. Why is she waiting for him at home, when he's allowed on water, and she's the pirate king?! She seemed to be a good pirate, too! :-)

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[info]vejiicakes
2007-11-07 03:45 am UTC (link)
Naaah, after the second film, Tia didn't even look twice at Will. (I am, of course, being facetious, though it occurs to me that that's also totally true. Must've been because her Davey-squiddy-face-shnookums was so close.)

Re: Jack/Tia, I maintain that Tia totally at least wanted to tap that, if not actually did--Jack said that he 'knew' her, to which she responded "not as well as she'd hoped"--even if they were just being coy and pretending to use innuendo about something more abstract like.. her being the sea and him sailing it for a while. Nevermind that. Totally tapping that. Sexually. *likes her world of denial very much, why do you ask*

And pff, I don't know why either Jack or Liz are pretending they won't see each other for ten years. You know she was all, "WHERE'S MY SHIP?!" the minute he took off. (Hey, you give me a hubby as pretty as Will and try to stop me from going off and getting my conjugal visits myself XD)

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[info]errantimpulses
2007-11-07 05:19 am UTC (link)
Hahah, I meant I was just confused why she was waiting for him on land every ....shit, I can't remember the number... seven years? When she could just go sailing and be all, "hey, baby!"

Jack/Tia are totally canon. That whole, "four of you tried to kill me" (Jack, Elizabeth, Barbosa, and Tia) and her, "don't say you didn't enjoy it at the time" and Jack being all, "heheh" = Jack+Tia + kinky S&M in the bedroom. XD TRUEFACT. Plus the whole knowing thing, Jack was all jealous of Will over Tia, and totally did know Tia. You know. Biblically. :-)

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[info]vejiicakes
2007-11-07 05:29 am UTC (link)
*laughs* That's what I'm saying! There's no WAY she was even waiting for him every (it was ten) years. That woman totally wrangled up a ship and a crew through her Pirate King connections and... well, like I said, conjugal visit and some such XP (I can dream. I can, and I will.)

Tia could've tried to kill Jack in bed or on the sea and you know he had fun either way. .. actually, running this through in my head, I'm not sure which way we're supposed to take that. It occurs to me that both are pretty spiffy. But one is knowing in the biblical sense, and one is kind of adventurous and free-spirited with the sailing and the high seas and the Black Pearl and the invigorating fighting for his li- WHY ISN'T THIS FIC YET? >_< Sometimes I like to read that scene as Jack being possessive protective of Will because he knows Tia would do some damage if she got her claws into the boy...

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[info]errantimpulses
2007-11-07 05:45 am UTC (link)
Jack/Tia/Will threesome!? :-D I mean, you make some very good points!

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[info]jengou
2007-11-05 09:11 pm UTC (link)
This is really, really sad, and I think it partly explains why:

- slash is so popular
- young girls look up to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears
- girls wish they were boys
- there is lack of girl bands
- why it's nearly always the girls that get voted out on X-factor (what what?)

I find it really sad how girls aren't supposed to have personality, cos then they're annoying. But when they're really nice girls, people say they're boring.

For whatever it's worth, a lot of the people I enjoy talking to and spending time with in real life are girls ♥ Maybe the loveliness of women is difficult to express! E.g. I love baking with girls :D

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[info]jengou
2007-11-05 09:13 pm UTC (link)
Oooh, two more things!

Elizabeth did kind of grate on my nerves, but Will, aagggh, I wanted him away from my face! Elizabeth got cooler towards the end. I don't get why people call her a slut. She kissed, what, 4 people in her entire life? :O

STRANGERS IN PARADISE!! So much love. I love Katchoo, but, oh, I love Francis's weaknesses too.

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[info]errantimpulses
2007-11-05 11:46 pm UTC (link)
Haha, there are a lot of things where I went, "why the hell would she do that!?" for elizabeth, but I did the same for Will a couple times, so I figure it evens out! And everyone calls everyone sluts! I don't understand that! People call Halle a slut, cause she hit on Mello. Who wouldn't have? And Misa and Takada are sluts, even though Misa won't kiss someone who's not her boyfriend (not that I would consider Misa and Takada strong female characters, but the whole, "I dislike this girl, so I'm calling her a slut, regardless of whether or not she is one!" drives me nuts.)

I love Fancine, too! But she's less of the tough-girl that I wanted to talk about. I liked most the girls in Strangers in Paradise, even Darcy and Casey to some extent! It's honestly probably not the plot I would have liked to read most, but the characters were kick ass, and that's good enough for me. :-)

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[info]errantimpulses
2007-11-05 11:38 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, whenever I get asked why slash is so popular, I give my honest, twofold opinion. Which is a) much like most guys being encouraged to like when girls make out, when two hot guys are making out, it's doubly hot! Just like how it is for guys watching two girls! Of course, to understand this, people need to understand that women are also capable of lust that is separate from love, which a lot of people can't, I don't think, and therefore they don't get slash. And b) women might like to watch het porn too, if it wasn't so damn degrading to women. However, if you get rid of the women, you can't degrade women (of course, I hate when the uke is all weak and gets taken advantage of.....it still implies that the penetrator gets to control the...penetratee? XD But I object less to it when it's a guy.)

I WISH I WAS A BOY. So often! And what psychoanalysts try to tell people is that having a penis is so awesome, and girls have penis envy, when NO! I want to be a boy so I'm less likely to be attacked while walking alone (and then blamed for the attack). I want to automatically get paid more money, just for having a penis (regardless of whether of not I do more work!). I want to have role models of my sex I can look up to, instead of having to cross-dress every halloween to get a good, non-slutty costume.

Girls really can't win ("Women is losers" has become closer to my heart in the last couple months...a sad but true song), for the reason you mention. I've seen it before in my relationships. I don't act like a stereotypical girl, so guys think it's awesome! ...but then they want me to do typical girls things and get upset when I don't (like, they want me to wait by the phone all night for their call, or save my weekends for them regardless of whether we've made plans or not, but they don't want to do the same themself. haha no way.)....then they go and date a sterotypical girl, and they're annoyed because she's smothering them. CHOOSE ONE, people! Or at the very least, quit whining!

I do like hanging out with girls, too, but it's annoying when you get one who's stereotypical, and expect all girls to want to do the same thing. Like the ones who, all they talk about is babies and marriages....after a half hour of polite listening, I'd like to change the subject, please! But they assume that since I'm a girl, and ALL girls love babies and marriage, that I must enjoy this conversation! Meeeh.

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[info]vejiicakes
2007-11-05 11:56 pm UTC (link)
a) much like most guys being encouraged to like when girls make out, when two hot guys are making out, it's doubly hot! Just like how it is for guys watching two girls! Of course, to understand this, people need to understand that women are also capable of lust that is separate from love, which a lot of people can't, I don't think, and therefore they don't get slash.

HAHA DUDE XD (Okay, sorry to butt in, BUT-) I remember back in my early days of getting into slash/yaoi, before I ever decided that just saying, "Because it's hot," should suffice, that I would use that argument--the whole 'straight guys like two chicks, so why wouldn't some girls enjoy two guys..?' bit.

The responses that received were almost always, "It DOESN'T work the same way! What would you think if you came home and found your boyfriend getting fucking in the ass by some fat, hairy guy??" Which.. I mean, one, I think there's a sense in our culture that men aren't attractive or something. Which I say is an argument for another day. And TWO, they never seemed to consider that I'd be far more upset that he was cheating on me at all O_o Notably, by that token, apparently none of the guys who gave that response would've considered "coming home and finding [their] girl having sex with a hot chick" to be cheating. There's just.. there's too much stupid ingrained into our culture in terms of sex and gender and expectations of them to work out a decent dialogue with most people who don't already 'get' slash -_-

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[info]jengou
2007-11-06 05:23 pm UTC (link)
Spoken like a true feminist! I can't claim to be a feminist myself, but those are some cool thoughts.

Haha, I am born and raised in Norway where girls are slutty, and studied in UK where girls are sluttier! That girls aren't capable of lust is a foreign concept for me :O And het porn would be hotter if the men weren't so greasy-looking and moustached 8D

When the Japanese draw weepy ukes, I tend to assume they are Mary Sues and that the Japanese women kind of want to be subjugated/as desirable just like the uke. I cannot see why they would find characters like that interesting otherwise :-/ I also think Japanese women see being able to make men act like animals a sort of power over them. I think it's a bit like that in China too...

Awww, I think it's great being a girl! I don't there are REALLY that many things stopping us from doing anything. I wouldn't want to have a penis cos that's a major weakness when in fights, and unless you're dressed veeeeery provocatively, I don't see how the girl can be blamed for the attack? And, hm, money-wise and job-wise it's very fair in the Nordic countries. I really don't notice sexual discrimination at all. Is the US really like what you describe? Women in Shell are very competent - my boss only hires women for our team XD

I totally agree with the lack of female role model, but a lot of it is our own fault. We let ourselves be brainwashed to think that looking pretty and attracting men are our key performance indicators in life. I don't like it, but I can't blame men for it.

I hope you are not offended by what I say next, but the way you describe your relationships is kind of telling... ''so guys think', 'but then they want me to' and they don't want to do the same themself'. That sounds a bit defeatist to me, like you're subconsciously giving the power in the relationship to the men! And, uhm, again, the waiting by the phone for their call and keeping weekends free for them is so very alien to me... whoa whoa! I never do that O_o (mobile phones solve the first problem, surely?)

Your friends are a little scary! I never talk about babies and marriage with anybody except bf (it's a very personal thing I think). What I do find quite sad is that a lot of girls don't seem so interested in current events, because it's angled more at 'what' than the 'who', which girls are more interested in... but I partly blame that on the way the news is portrayed.

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[info]errantimpulses
2007-11-07 01:34 am UTC (link)
You're not a feminist? You mean, you don't believe men and women are and should be treated as equals?

and unless you're dressed veeeeery provocatively, I don't see how the girl can be blamed for the attack?

Eeeh? Even if a girl walks around naked, guys still need to be accountable for their actions. I mean, if some guy breaks into your home, and you're wearing only a nightie, and he rapes you, would you want him to be held for breaking and entering AND rape? Or would you argue that he can't be held accountable because of the rape because you were dressed in a way that made him incapable of controlling his sexual urges? Even if a woman is dressed provocatively, it does not mean she deserves to be raped. Guys should be able to curb their own actions, regardless of how a woman presents herself - in Italy a judge ruled that a girl "wasn't really raped" because she was wearing tight pants. Recently a different judge ruled that a TEN YEAR OLD girl was pretty much responsible for her rape because she was dressed provocatively. Saying a woman can be blamed for her rape whatever she's wearing opens the door for loose interpretations of that. Soon the rape excuses will be (or will continue to be, but validated) "She was wearing a miniskirt, I couldn't help it," "she was wearing tight pants, I couldn't help it." "She wasn't wearing a niqab, I couldn't help it." A rape ALWAYS has one person to blame, and one person ONLY - the rapist.

I've also never understood the whole, "women have power over men" argument either. People say, "if you were the last woman on earth, you'd have so much power" when in truth, you'd probably just get raped a lot. Because let's face it, you can say, "I'll only have sex with you if you...." which is a type of power, but he can turn right around and force you whether you want to or not. There's really no clear "one side has all the power".

It's honestly not horrible in the US - I certainly wouldn't want to be in other countries. However, our society is very much into blaming the victim in rape and domestic abuse cases (hell, a while ago I posted a link where a girl was gang-raped, and SHE was charged with indecent exposure, and the boys who did that to her got immunity for their crimes in order to testify against her). Job-wise, women are still encouraged to stay in the kitchen and at home to raise babies, if not outright, then silently, through the actions of not hiring women, or not promoting them. Women still make less than men (about seventy-six cents to the dollar), for equal work (not even taking into account that men are more likely to be given higher ranking jobs that automatically get higher pay). And this goes back to school as well. There was one experiment done where two applications were sent out to graduate schools, pretty much it was the same resume, only one had a girl's name, and the other a boy's. The boy's ended up getting a lot more responses and acceptance, while the girl got relatively fewer, the school casting doubts as to whether the girl would actually stay enrolled in the program, or leave to get married and have a baby in the middle of it. Doubts were also cast as to whether the girl had done all her own research. Neither of the two questions were made against the boy's resume, and the only thing the reviewers had to base these two questions on were the gender.

And I'm not denying that more women will leave to have babies than men, but that's because men can't have babies. And plenty of males drop out of grad school for other reasons. If you're willing to drop out of grad school to have a baby, that shows a noncommitment to graduate school (as opposed to just waiting until you're done with school), which is not inherent to females. I know of more men who have dropped out of grad school than females, and my blood boils to think that there are girls who aren't getting in, who would be dedicated, because some reviewer is holding the girls up to an outdated idea that they all are just in college to meet eligible men.


....arg, stupid livejournal hates how wordy I am. ....tbc.

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[info]jengou
2007-11-08 04:35 pm UTC (link)
Apologizing in advance for late and short reply, I am so swamped with work ;_;

Men and women should be respected equally, but I think men and women are different, and should be treated differently.

I generally see your points of view as black and white, guilty vs not guilty. If a girl is raped, of course the blame is on the man. Always, that's justice. But I also hold common sense and general survivial instincts/wariness in high regards. I feel less sympathy for women who dress like they're asking for trouble. I think most people are like this. The man is still accountable, but I would not go and shout in the woman's defence either.

I have never heard of that kind of sexual discrimination in school or work, and I'm quite baffled. But, this reminds me, my uni friend in UK did a study on why female graduates were paid less than male graduates, and the result was that women are not as good at/confident with negotiating salaries and benefits. If a job is advertised as 30k pounds a year, a man would push for more or ask for a car, while the woman would more readily accept what was offered initially. So it's good for women to be aware of these things so as not to miss out, but there's nothing to be feminist about, in my opinion.

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[info]errantimpulses
2007-11-07 01:34 am UTC (link)
...here's the rest~

totally agree with the lack of female role model, but a lot of it is our own fault. We let ourselves be brainwashed to think that looking pretty and attracting men are our key performance indicators in life. I don't like it, but I can't blame men for it.

But who reinforces those ideas? Sure, it's up to us how we want to live our lives, but who's primarily feeding us the message that looking hot is the thing to do, and we should prepare ourselves for a life of taking care of our husband and our children? Most of these sexist ideas come from religious backgrounds, which, let's face it, is written by men. The reinforcement is done by both men and women, but we don't have to look far to see who originated it (hell, I'm really pissed off that in most species, the female is larger, and the male is prettier. Where did we go wrong!?).
so guys think', 'but then they want me to' and they don't want to do the same themself'. That sounds a bit defeatist to me

I'm actually going off of conversations with my own boyfriends, and observations of other girls' relationships. I'm not setting out to defeat a relationship, I simply act the way I want to act, and the boy complains that I don't wait for him. If I'm still out at 2am, I get text messages of, "where are you? Who are you with?" When they're out at two am, and I don't text them, they complain I don't care. If I do text them, they complain that I don't trust them (nevermind they do the same to me). It's not a defeatist attitude, because I'm not saying, "this is what would happen", it's simple what I DO see, in my own relationships, and in a LOT of others. I don't see this in some relationships, however, the number I do see it in far outnumbers the ones I don't see it in. I'm not saying boys are inherently bad and selfish, however, we have a society that nods and smiles when they act this way. If people were willing to do that when I acted selfish, I probably would be a lot more selfish! It's understandable that men don't want to give up or reign in this power and selfishness, however, that doesn't make it right.

See, I think girls are assumed and trained to be more interested in the who than the what. I was hanging out with a group of four girls and one boy, and the topic came to weddings and babies. Two of us were incredibly bored with the conversation (me and another girl) and did not participate much in it. I'm not sure if the boy was or not (I only know the other girl was, because she tells me she always gets bored with those talks), but after a while, the other girls said, "Oh! Sorry [boy], we must be boring you!" No apologies to me or the other girl, though, because the other girls just ASSUMED that since we have boobs, we, too, must be absolutely FASCINATED by the conversation.

Which is the problem. People who like a certain thing assume others like that thing too, moreso when society gives you a role. If you ask a boy which girls would rather do, see a sappy romantic comedy, or an action movie, I think most boys would say, "romantic comedy" (or possibly, "the chick flick.") If you asked women which they would rather see, I think you would get a mixed batch. However, I think that more women who would rather watch a romantic comedy would say that other women, too, have this desire (cue my friend's comment of, "I'm not sexist, but naturally more women would want to watch a romantic comedy than a movie like tomb raider." There's nothing "natural" about that. It's a sexist bias that prevents women from voicing wants and desires outside the norm.) Like I said in one of my closing paragraphs, people who want to see a strong female lead don't want that exclusively, but there are *many* more people who don't want the strong female lead AT ALL, and it's hard to tell if a woman was just naturally inclined to not want that, or doesn't want it because she's been told for 20 years that it's unnaturally to want something besides the romantic comedy.

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*unlurks* *unsure how I actually ended up linked to this post but glad for it*
[info]gothicwhite
2008-09-15 01:42 pm UTC (link)
I seriously burst into applause at the end of this thread.

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Re: *unlurks* *unsure how I actually ended up linked to this post but glad for it*
[info]errantimpulses
2008-09-19 04:17 am UTC (link)
Wow, glad to hear it!

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Re: *unlurks* *unsure how I actually ended up linked to this post but glad for it*
[info]gothicwhite
2008-09-20 08:10 pm UTC (link)
I realize I'm probably bugging you, but . . . this has totally shifted my world view, actually. The points you made about female villains / male villains. It's made me start trying to get past gender and look at actions. Which makes villains much cooler. Eve, for example, in Angel. It made me realize I respect her as a ruthless smirky evil bitch . . . up until the point it's revealed she only did it for Lindsey. That just made me think she was stupid and skanky. If you're going to be evil, be evil for you. Don't be Harley Quinn! Be Lilah Morgan.

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Re: *unlurks* *unsure how I actually ended up linked to this post but glad for it*
[info]errantimpulses
2008-09-21 04:25 am UTC (link)
Oh no. I haven't posted here in forever, so I'm glad to see it's getting some activity.

I think everyone has their own biases when it comes to females vs males. When I say, "I hate when people think-!" it doesn't mean I don't do it, too. But I know I shouldn't be doing it, and I try to correct it. There are times when I've found out a really cool character is actually a girl, and I feel disappointed. Why? Because being a girl suddenly makes the character less cool?

That's my major problem with female villains. Females villains are always being bad because of men. Either they love a man and are doing things to help him, or they were dumped by a man and want to get back at him, or they want eternal youth and beauty, so they'll be attracted to me.

You almost never see a male villain doing things solely for a female, but you almost always (and I put that almost in as a note of faith - I've never actually seen an instance where they weren''t) see female villains doing bad things for their man.

But hell, even if they did something for money (like most male villains) that would be a reinforcement of the stereotype that women are only after money. I just finished watching cowboy bebop, and it seemed that Faye was always portrayed as money-grubbing, even though Spike and Jet complained about it as much as she did. Crazy!

I totally want a movie with a female (villain or hero!) who's awesome and kick-ass and not doing it for love, and ends up with a harem of hot hunks....and I want it to be marketed just as well as a movie that features a man doing the same thing.

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Re: *unlurks* *unsure how I actually ended up linked to this post but glad for it*
[info]gothicwhite
2008-09-21 10:26 pm UTC (link)
Okay, well . . . I shall continue talking? You're very interesting.

That's good to hear, actually. I'm catching myself doing it and trying to change it, but it's difficult. Especially when movies made "for women" as in Lifetime and WE and such are usually crap. I don't like most romance unless it's heavily dosed with comedy, and I hate romantic tragedies. Oh, oh, oh. You should see The Shape of Things, because it has one of the most interesting portrayals of a beautiful woman I've ever seen. It's fascinating, and hurtful, and makes me rage and use the word bitch a lot, and I would so love to hear your opinion on it.

I'm going over movies / books / comics / TV shows in my head now, and thinking over it. The closest I can come up with to a non-used-by-men female villain is Discord, in Xena: Warrior Princess and Hercules: the Legendary Journeys. She uses men and discards (read: kills with fireballs) them, and her work is her own and that of Ares'--technically her boss. Hmm. I have to think about this. I don't know that there are any female villains I can respect. Lilah Morgan, and Discord. And . . . that's it, for now. Jesus.

I like women that do stuff for money. Besides sell their bodies, I mean. Faye Valentine is one of my favorite characters of all time because she's a straight-up thief who's not ashamed of anything she does. Although, it has been a while since I saw the series.

Not to sound rude, but I fully believe a movie like that would only find a market as porn. Which sucks, because that would just be awesome. No attachments, just death and destruction and such. Also, I would like to see a woman shoot someone without flipping out emotionally. I have to go through my X-Men comics, now, and figure out where Emma Frost lands on the villain / hero situation.

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Re: *unlurks* *unsure how I actually ended up linked to this post but glad for it*
[info]errantimpulses
2008-10-11 07:37 pm UTC (link)
Hahah, is Emma still doing this cause she luuuurvs Cyclops?

I think one of the reasons a lot of women are turning to slash and male/male relationships, which I think was brought up above, is because it eliminates the crappy establish male/female roles. Disappointing!

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